Selichot Sermon presented by Leslie Sternlieb

Selichot Sermon presented by Leslie Sternlieb on September 12, 2008

Good evening. Next week we will come together again for Selichot, which begins the important work of teshuvah, or the return of our true selves. How we encounter ourselves during the coming Days of Awe is a highly personal process, and it changes every year. Tonight I’d like to offer up a few questions for us to consider before Selichot so that we may prepare for the work ahead. They are not about how to turn away from that which is negative and toward that which is positive, but a way of redirecting how we think about our lives that might have been lost and need to be found again. I confess that for the most part these were questions posed by a family member’s rabbi, and I have had them posted on my bulletin board for a while. The questions always challenge me, and I must admit they are often uncomfortable—for it is easier to tackle the task at hand than to stop everything and thoughtfully examine the pieces and the whole of your life, the past and often lost aspirations. 

The following are Ten Questions, as opposed to Ten Commandments. Once you find your own answers, they could indeed become your own inner commandments.

The first question: When do you most feel that your life is meaningful? It could be playing with your children; it could be preparing a meal for loved ones; if you’re a classroom teacher, it could be knowing that you have a positive impact on your students; if you’re an attorney or physician, knowing you obtained a positive outcome for your client or patient. Or it could be working toward your own vision, whether it is a cause, an entrepreneurial project, or an issue that is meaningful to you. Whatever it is, when did you last get that feeling? Was it long ago? How do you think you could recapture it?

Next, and this is related, What would bring you more happiness than anything else in the world? Again, this could take a variety of forms, whether you seek closer family ties, really, truly commit to attaining a goal or embarking on something totally new and seemingly out of character. It could be as simple as losing weight. Or perhaps finally getting married.

If I could live your life over, would you change anything? Another big one. Would your educational path be different? What would you take more seriously, or realize was unimportant? It’s never too late to make a mid-course correction. Then again, you might end up like Jimmy Stewart in It’s A Wonderful Life and realize that you did pretty well, after all.

What are your three most significant achievements since last Rosh Hashanah? Did you finish something meaningful? Did you start something important? Did you finally say No when you always say Yes?

What are the three biggest mistakes you’ve made since last Rosh Hashanah? Did you say something you regretted? Did you take a job that wasn’t right for you? Did you not act when you should have?

What project or goal, if left undone, will you most regret next Rosh Hashanah? Don’t let yourself off easy with this one.  While it is commendable to clean out your closets and donate the proceeds to the Beth Or yard sale, take this to the next level, which could be related to the next question.

What are your three major goals in life? What steps are you taking to achieve them? Can you take practical steps in the next two months toward these goals? Be high-minded here! You might want to draft a one-year or two-year plan, but do it in steps. Feeling overwhelmed is a sure way to short-circuit the possibilities. It could be to start a business or write a book. It could be to raise great kids. But it has to be your goal.

If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you undertake to accomplish in life? Wow, another big one. Fear of failure is one of the biggest reasons we take the convenient path. Remember the young person you once were, whose possibilities seemed unlimited, and who explored and plunged into things with little regard for how it would be considered. If you could have an impact on any idea, cause or issue at this moment, what kind of satisfaction and completion would you feel?

If you could give your children or family members three pieces of advice, what would they be?  My father, who was a great Black Jack player, always said, “Don’t play scared.” He didn’t, and whether he was at the casino or at the office, he was willing to risk because he believed in himself. That was his advice, what’s yours?

Do those who mean the most to you know how you feel about them? This may be the easiest one to handle. I’ve known people whose parents never said, “I love you.” They might have thought it didn’t need to be said. It does. Sometimes you have to state the obvious.

Answers to these questions don’t come quickly or easily. We tend to think for a moment, and then move on. It’s hard to push beyond the comfort zone. But some new bit of insight may come to you tomorrow, or when you’re taking a shower or laying in bed before you truly wake up. These questions are meant to open a door—for us to reconsider how we are living our values, and hopefully offer a way to recover our authentic selves as we begin the powerful work of teshuvah.