Sermon - September 5, 2008

A Friendly Welcome – What is a Community? 

9/5/08  Rabbi Mark S. Kram, Temple Beth Or

George Burns once said: Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family – in another city.  He had it wrong.  Although Mindy and I are finally empty nesters, 2 weeks ago we had a full house – all 3 kids.  Many of you know what I’m talking about!   It’s a little too quiet now!

Lea’s off to college.  So is a Goodman, a Mintz, a Galinsky/Fane, a Berse, a Hanson, a Rodney, a Solana, and others.  Do you know what the most important thing we told her before dropping her off at U of Central Fla.?  It wasn’t about eating well.  Nor about study – she’ll take care of that too.  Not be careful – although these are all essential!

Mindy and I told her to spread her wings, get involved – in whatever she chose!  It didn’t matter what.  Whether it is sports, academics, internships, career-oriented clubs, or (especially this year) politics – just get involved. 

Why?  Because UCF is a big university.  2^nd largest in the state.  And unless a student breaks it down into smaller pieces (or groups) they are lost.  How many of you were in a frat or sorority in college?  I was.  Aside from the wild parties, you and I were able to break down a university with tens of thousands of students to a group of 50 or 75 or maybe 100 people.

We Jews need to do that as well.  How do we break down, so to speak, a large community like Miami – with all it has to offer – into smaller, more reasonable slices? When we think about Jewish, why should we consider joining a synagogue or becoming part of a synagogue community?  And if so, why Beth Or?

The standard response, as suggested by a San Diego is that: “Jews join a synagogue because it is the foundation stone for Jewish life in America. The synagogue is the place we turn to for our most meaningful moments in life, whether they are happy or sad. It is where we take our place in the community to which we belong.”  True, yes.  Compelling, no!

Kind of lands hollow.  I can’t disagree, but it does not make an attractive or alluring approach to get me to move into action, invest limited discretionary funds and join up (that is, aside from just being a good Jewish citizen)!

In a Tucson, AZ Jewish newspaper article, the writer was more direct.  The headline read,

“No excuses-- Join a synagogue!”  (by Esther Blumenfeld)

It continues, "The rabbi gave such a beautiful eulogy. You would have thought he knew our family."

So, the author writes, why doesn't the rabbi know the Kugels? ... (A fictional family name, but an all-too-often real experience.)  The Kugels are members of the "J" (the JCC).  Grandma and Grandpa work out regularly; their grandson, Sonny, plays basketball and swims; and Susie, the family sweetheart, is in nursery school. These are all admirable activities. However, when Grandpa had a heart attack and was taken to the emergency room, the Kugels wanted a rabbi at their side ... not a personal trainer. The problem: They don't belong to a congregation; they don't know any of Tucson's rabbis, and no rabbi knows them.

We have heard all of the excuses for why people don't join:

1) "I can't find a congregation that meets my expectations.

2) “I don't like the rabbi.”

3) “I don't like the services.”

4) “I don't like the people."

5)  "I was a member in my past community for many years. Now that my children are grown, I don't feel the need to join a congregation."

6) "I attended services and people just aren't friendly."  And the last,

7) "I can't afford to pay the membership dues."

And this in spite of the fact that according to the president of the Reform Movement's rabbinic organization (Central Conference of American Rabbis) who reminds us that, "Synagogues are not supposed to be used [instrumentally] to fulfill your personal needs. Rather, joining a synagogue should bring us out of the narrow circle of self-concern and help open us to the needs of others."

Byline London:

“When you join Cremorne Synagogue, you do not merely avail yourself of the opportunity to participate in religious services; you open the door to a whole range of social, educational and cultural activities that are central to Jewish life.  Cremorne has a special emphasis on families.  Children are involved in all aspects of our services, and the role of conducting the Friday night service is reserved for the youth, whether it be a bar mitzvah boy in training or a joyous Carlebach service.”

One synagogue even published a Dave Letterman-like “TOP TEN” List of reasons to join for their pre-school families:

#10. YOU ALREADY SEE WHAT GREAT PROGRAMS WE HAVE

#9. THE CHILDREN ALREADY CALL RABBI GINSBURG THEIR RABBI

#8. YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH THE BUILDING

#7. IT [only] COSTS $500 A YEAR IF YOU HAVE A CHILD IN THE PRE-SCHOOL

#6. IF YOU WANT SUPPLEMENTAL HEBREW SCHOOL, OURS IS SMALL, INDIVIDUAL (2 DAYS A WEEK - TUESDAY & SATURDAY) AND HIGH QUALITY

#5. YOUR CHILDREN CAN SEE BETSY AND THE PRE-SCHOOL FACULTY REGULARLY

#4. OUR SERVICES ARE WARM, HEIMISH, PARTICIPATORY, WITH HIGH QUALITY TEACHING & SERMONS

#3. WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE JEWISH SPECTRUM, NOT TOO HOT AND NOT TOO COLD (AFFILIATED WITH [BOTH THE] CONSERVATIVE AND RECONSTRUCTIONIST MOVEMENTS)

#2. [WE OFFER] JUDAISM FOR THE HEART, MIND, & SPIRIT

And the #1 Top Reason to join:

#1. YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW TO SCHLEP HERE EASILY!

Can’t we do better????

Allow me one more example:  Why Join the United Synagogue in London, ENGLAND?

“The United Synagogue is a modern and united family of communities … We welcome every Jew, create a sense of belonging, offer lifelong Jewish learning opportunities, foster spiritual growth and practice, encourage mutual responsibility and stress the centrality of Israel in Jewish life.

“Please click here for your  United Synagogue Application Form.”

OK, so you’ve heard why to be a part of a synagogue in a not-so-engaging way.  I’m not sure that I would join!  Same old, same old.

Professor Sylvia Fishman of Brandeis University, Professor of Contemporary Jewry and American Jewish Sociology said, “Today, we live in two worlds – two “disparate cultural realms” – American and Jewish.  Where we might have compartmentalized them in prior years, or adapted or synthesized them, they stress the differences between the two cultures.”  She suggests “coalescence” – where fundamental cultural distinctions are not just blurred; rather, they disappear  “…in many ways, the boundaries have disappeared and the two belief systems have merged into one coalesced whole [we call] ‘Judaism.’”

Fishman explains, “During the process of coalescence…the ‘texts’ of two cultures, American and Jewish, are accessed simultaneously, much as one might access two different texts on a single computer screen.  These values systems merge, or coalesce.  When coalescence is complete, the resulting merged messages or texts are perceived not as being American and Jewish values side by side, but as being a unified text which is identified as authoritative Judaism (p.10).”

She summarizes by providing a list of 7 items – what she considers as content for Jewish identity in the 21^st century:

·        Heavy in emotional and spiritual feeling

·        Light in terms of traditional ritual practice

·        Inclusive of other types of Jews as well as non-Jews

·        Individually and family oriented as opposed to institutionally oriented

·        Mindful of the special role of Israel and the Holocaust

·        Open toward growth continuing Jewish education, and

·        Emphatic in its belief about making the world a better place (tikkun olam).

We don’t have a word for this.  No single phrase can capture this nuanced and paradoxical nature of this new Jewish identity.  It is both particular and universal; personal and public.

In the beginning of the Torah portion Vayera, we find Abraham talking to G-d. Suddenly he sees three nomads coming toward him. Immediately Abraham runs out to greet them.  Abraham brings them into his open tent and cooks them a meal. (It is this preoccupation with over feeding people that deems him the first Jew.) In contrast to Noah, whose place is a hermetically sealed ark, Abraham's place is an open tent encouraging hospitality. The commentaries suggest that perhaps this is why the world was destroyed in Noah's day and not in Abraham's, and why Abraham was the first Jew and not Noah.   Can we be more like that – to each person who comes within the orbit of our community?  Sure!

How do we live up to the challenge of Abraham, keeping our Jewish mission to be open and giving like Abraham and not sealed off and indifferent like Noah. 

Synagogues can close that revolving door (in at RH and out at YK) by fashioning themselves into face-to-face communities of intimacy and warmth. Synagogues, in mirroring Abraham, we need to support individuals in the deep experiences of life, not permitting them to face a crisis alone.  Synagogue communities can follow Abraham’s example by lifting Jews out of their aloneness and to helping them establish true community.

We have learned from the teachings of Rabbi Levi Yitzhak of Berdichev in the Ukraine, who discovered the meaning of love from two friends sitting at a table toasting one another over and over and over again. Each was proclaimed how much he loved the other, when the one said to the other: "Friend, tell me what hurts me?" Replied the other, “How do I know what hurts you?" The answer was swift: "If you don't know what hurts me, how can you say you love me?"  Do we know what is hurting the person sitting next to us?  We’re only over 100/150 families – not 1500 or 2000 – shouldn’t we know this?

Let us together create a synagogue which provides exactly what we need in the 21^st century - emotional and spiritual feeling, inclusiveness – of all Jews and all people, family oriented and individual oriented, interested in continuing Jewish learning, and ardent in making the world a better place – and knowing when we’re hurt!   KEIN YIHI RATZON, may we do this together, so may that be God’s will.  Amen